The State of Illinois acknowledged last week that in an effort to stay afloat during the worst financial crisis in its history, it had begun performing in adult films.
. . . Illinois has already appeared in more than two dozen movies, including Little Sluts On The Prairie and the popular Illinois Does Dallas.
“I want to be perfectly clear on one thing,” [Governor Pat] Quinn said. “Illinois does not do anal. I don’t care how many times someone tells us that just one double-penetration scene will help the state’s homeless shelters open for another winter or put an additional 150 state troopers on the road. There’s a line we simply will not cross.”
Added Quinn, “Well, I mean, it’d have to be a lot of money.”
Read the whole hootalicious thing.
h/t: Quincy Fire
3 Comments
We know the politicians have proved themselves capable of screwing their taxpayers, but I don’t get what role “Illinois” plays in the films. Are they letting them do sex scenes on the lawn at Lincoln’s tomb? That seems rather phallic.
http://www.essential-architecture.com/TYPE/Lincolns_Tomb.jpg
Well yeah, if Illinois is doing porn, considering the shape of the state, I would have thought it would be more successful as a Ron Jeremy type, you know—the guy who was known for his ability to do autofellatio.
There’s no disputing Illinois government is repleat with people constantly doing autofellatio.
I am forwarding this story to all my friends. Hilarious!